oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize