I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
