last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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