Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My liver just had a heart attack.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
