Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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