the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
