His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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