i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
