I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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