So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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