you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
