Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
