Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
