She's like a pop up book from hell.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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