the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize