My nipple is on Facebook.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
