Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
