If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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