Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We have started to decorate penises.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
