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Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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