Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
