it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
