i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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