It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think thatβs bad karma. Want some pringles?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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