If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
