I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
