I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
