Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize