I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
