you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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