you guys were way drunker than both of me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
