umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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