My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
