D3 body, D1 cock
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
