I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
