I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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