DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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