i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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