North Korea, Best Korea!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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