What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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