The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
