So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sext me about skeletons
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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