God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
