careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
