I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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