jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
