i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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