They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
