I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
