no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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