You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
