I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
