oh god the rape fog is back!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
