But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize