and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
