After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Please, let me fuck your mom
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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