doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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