the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There r osticjed everywhere
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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