I heard we made out
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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