i permit you to call me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
