I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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