Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
