So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
