I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The adults are the big ones right?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
