He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
