Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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