I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
