my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
