i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
