I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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