Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
