is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
