There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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