Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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