I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
