i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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