Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize