I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
