they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize