Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Operation Purity has been aborted
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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