so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize