I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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